There is so much I want to say about this novel. Atmosphere was as beautiful as it was tragic and there were many scenes where I had to stop for a second so I didn’t start sobbing. I know it’s only January, but this is by far the best book I’ve read this year (so far). 

Let’s start with the story. Joan isn’t necessarily a popular type of girl, but when she gets into the astronaut training program, she finally finds her place. This is where she meets Vanessa, her main love interest. Things get a little rocky because, even though they are in love, this is a timeframe that really didn’t allow for same gender romances (1980s, I believe). Not only that, but Joan has to deal with her selfish younger sister, Barbara, who is constantly making her feel bad for not spending enough time with Frances, Joan’s niece and Barbara’s daughter out of wedlock (also a no-no for that time period). There were a lot of things going on, but one of the biggest was the present-day (for the characters, not like the 2000s) space mission that goes horribly wrong while Joan is being the main point of contact in Mission Control for the astronauts in space. So, while you’re learning about what leads Joan up to this point, you also get interwoven chapters of the tragedy as it unfolds. It was so wonderfully done and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. 

With the characters, Frances was one of my favorites followed closely by Joan and Griffin. Barbara? Yeah, the bottom of the bottom. Each character, even the side characters, had so much depth and development that you never would have even suspected they were “side” characters. Joan’s personality is so subtle but strong at the same time. She is fierce and concrete in her beliefs as she becomes somewhat of a tether between all the differing personalities in her training program. Frances is sweet and bull-headed at times, but also searching for where she belongs (which was DEVASTATING at times for the poor ten year old that she was). Then, Vanessa, while I liked her, didn’t stand out as much as the previously mentioned characters. So, the chapters that were her POV didn’t pull me in as much. Not to mention, Julia Whelan narrated Joan’s chapters and I am convinced there will never be another audiobook narrator as amazing as she is. 

Alright, the ending? Think bittersweet and hopeful and also devastating. It truly was an amazing ending and I was so sad the book was over. I literally kept thinking that “this can’t be it” in the best kind of way. I loved the story and characters that much.

Spoilers ahead.

Y’all. When Barbara just abandoned Frances???? And Joan finds out she’s alone at the boarding school on Thanksgiving? Wow, talk about bringing on the waterworks. I was so heartbroken for this little girl and absolutely enraged at the selfish mother that she had to call her own. Thank goodness for Joan. Thank goodness for family members like her. Because, seriously? I was SO sad. I had to try and stop myself from sobbing. 

That plot point along with the ending scenes of Vanessa approaching certain death to try and save Lydia? Wow, I don’t know how my heart handled this book. What I loved the absolute most about the ending was the emphasis on family. It didn’t matter how much Vanessa wanted to be an astronaut. It didn’t matter how much Joan wanted it, too. Family meant more. Frances meant more. All they wanted was each other and I thought that was such a beautiful revelation for them to have (mainly because I share the same beliefs). 

Overall, this book was beautiful, heartbreaking, wonderful, and any other praise-worthy adjective you can think of. I truly enjoyed every moment and wish it would’ve lasted a little bit longer. Five out of five very well deserved stars. One of my favorites by Taylor Jenkins Reid yet. 

Source: Audiobook from Libby Public Library

(P.S. You can read this book for free by signing up for a free trial of Audible, which gives you two free audiobooks of your choice!)